Posted 5 days ago

shikarius:

Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:

"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"

"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"

"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"

"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."

"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"

  • "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
  • "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"

I’m dying. This is wonderful.

Posted 5 days ago

the-fandoms-are-cool:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

leradny:

videohall:

Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER

AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT

IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE

*THUNK*

YES IT’S BACK ON MY DASH THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO

image

Posted 5 days ago

I want your Monday morning
sleep soaked eyes
dream drenched voice,
lazy bones
‘five more minutes please babe.’

I want your Tuesday afternoon
coffee break,
glasses off, laughter on
‘just hold me for a while
it’s been a hard day.’

I want your Wednesday evening
fingers through hair
teeth nibbling nails
neck craning, eye glazing
‘this paperwork never ends’

I want your Thursday night
drinks for two
bones unbind
muscles let loose
flats, slacks,
‘just me and you’

I want your finally Friday
stretch soul smile,
sun sipping light
from the glaciers in your eyes
fingers unfurl, hand extends
‘c’mon babe, lets go wild’

I want your weekend.
your movie marathon Saturday
reading by the fireplace
kissing in the blankets
want your Sunday morning
orange juice and pancakes
white sheets, tender skin
hair like the Fourth of July
‘let’s not get out of bed today.’

I want your ordinary
and your stress, rest, release
I want your bad day and that terrible night
I want you drunk in my arms
forgetting the place but never my name
I want your lazy and your lonely
and your fist full of fight
I want you everyday
in every way
for the rest of my life.

Posted 2 weeks ago

in-ternalised:

ograes:

whovian-hetalian:

clarkkftw:

teamaequitas:

0hmykaty:

wearealljustrunaways:

savisintheclouds:

I literally felt like I did not have a choice.

Robin Williams says reblog, you reblog. 

…okay.

did i even really have a choice?

okay robin williams

i hesitated for a second and then considered the repercussions

just gonna reblog…

okk

You have to

Posted 2 weeks ago

dyannehs:

ahkmenra-h:

hellabitcoins:

sansaspark:

magconbabe-matt:

This shit better work

HAH I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE

what if we all got paper lol
GUYS I REBLOGGED THIS LAST NIGHT AND I JUST GOT $150 

I just think the phenomenon is cool.

Posted 2 weeks ago
I’m dying. I just… Lmfao

I’m dying. I just… Lmfao

(Source: kackupa)

Posted 2 weeks ago
Posted 2 weeks ago
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Posted 2 weeks ago

dddevilsdaughter:

junebouvierr:

idiot

How could you not want a cat

Posted 2 weeks ago
cosmic-child:

earthandanimals:

oriental-sunrise:

arabianwave:

oriental-sunrise:

skinny-diamonds:

somedaylovehope:

No, I don’t tolerate it. No, It’s not normal.It fucks child’s mind. 

This is WRONG!!
Being HOMOSEXUELL or BISEXUELL is not a F***ING CRIME!!
DON’T JUDGE WHAT YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND, CUZ’ IN THE END OF THE DAY YOUR NOT PERFECT!!

Women were created for men and men for women, not men for men and women for women. If man + man or woman + woman were normal family, they’d be able to procreate but they don’t. Be homosexual but don’t have kids. It’s not normal. Seriously, it’s not. 

Yes, Adam is for Eve not Steve

I love this one. :D

Take your religion as well as ignorance and shove it. 

Wow, people are fucking disgusting. Stop spreading your ignorant, close-minded filth.

How does it fuck a child’s mind? God forbid a child’s mind be more open, and accepting of people. Your ignorant, bigoted, close minded bullshit will fuck a child’s mind, and dear God, I hope you don’t procreate and spread that.

cosmic-child:

earthandanimals:

oriental-sunrise:

arabianwave:

oriental-sunrise:

skinny-diamonds:

somedaylovehope:

No, I don’t tolerate it.
No, It’s not normal.
It fucks child’s mind.

This is WRONG!!

Being HOMOSEXUELL or BISEXUELL is not a F***ING CRIME!!

DON’T JUDGE WHAT YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND, CUZ’ IN THE END OF THE DAY YOUR NOT PERFECT!!

Women were created for men and men for women, not men for men and women for women. If man + man or woman + woman were normal family, they’d be able to procreate but they don’t. Be homosexual but don’t have kids. It’s not normal. Seriously, it’s not.

Yes, Adam is for Eve not Steve

I love this one. :D

Take your religion as well as ignorance and shove it.

Wow, people are fucking disgusting. Stop spreading your ignorant, close-minded filth.

How does it fuck a child’s mind? God forbid a child’s mind be more open, and accepting of people. Your ignorant, bigoted, close minded bullshit will fuck a child’s mind, and dear God, I hope you don’t procreate and spread that.

Posted 2 weeks ago
Posted 1 month ago

brbimpoopin:

Florida.

So true.

(Source: looo-ch)